Kissing with Confidence: First week at work

Last week I started my new job! Confidentialityblahblah I work at a law firm (just to ring the changes). My trip to work is a Metro ride away, and has one of those station changes which makes you walk along a moving treadmill thing on the floor, like at the airport or in a music video. Despite my best intentions, I can feel myself becoming a Tube Knob, with a favourite place to stand in the carriage and everything. I keep annoying my friend Sophia, who is a legitimate City Baller, by making references to my morning commute and standing on the left. Pretty impressive, huh?

I was first whisked downstairs to the basement and my fingerprints electronically taken, because that’s how they enter and leave the building. Very James Bond. The guy was all, “we had passes but people kept losing them, but you can’t really lose your fingers, can you?” And laughed in a very sinister way which sounded a bit like “and of course, we will cut your hand off if you are caught stealing branded stationary”.

I met everybody in my building, and got greeting-kissed by everybody. Like fifty people. This takes a bit of getting used to. Everybody is very friendly, however, and there is free coffee in the kitchen and two computer screens at my disposal. Two! There is so much space for blog writing document comparison that I don’t know what to do with myself.

I also signed up to what I thought was a standard-issue workstation ergonomics assessment, one of those ones where they tell you to stop slouching and crossing your legs and all. But I ended up actually signing up to a full-blown medical examination at a hospital, where they take blood and urine samples and you have to fast for four hours before. I had to send an awkward e-mail explaining that I am incompetent and quite fine with all the things wrong with me, thank you very much.

On Thursday I had another uni night out, where it seemed as if I only said a couple of weird things, as opposed to all the weird things. It’s likely because I learned a lot of the Spanish I currently have from reading the translation of The Catcher in the Rye a hundred times, so I speak like an unhappy 1950s American teenager. Anyhow, I gave those crummy kids a piece of my goddamn mind and they soon enough stopped annoying the hell outta me.

Adrián took us for sushi on Friday night, which was top, and we dissected the various eccentricities of the firm. Then over the weekend I caught up on sleep, went for some runs, and scuttled to Zara to try and buy some work clothes that would make me look like I belong in a baller law firm and am so totally cool with the kissing thing.

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